With my warmup done there is nothing left, but the short walk to the line. Reflecting momentarily on how I had arrived here, the gun catches me off guard. I bolt like a startled rabbit.
I marvel at the length and smoothness of my stride, gaining confidence with every passing yard. I am really moving. I pass 400 yards, then 800 meters, then doubt assails with monster truck force, "Have I gone out too fast? Oh shit what if Trickett-Snickett beats me! And Wild-Man-Tob-Riner!! Or worst of all some silly frog named Alaigne-Elaine might knock me off the podium completely!!!
I head into the sweeping right hander, oh you know the one, the one with the 5' plus thistles and their 1.5" spines lining the road. They call me with their feral siren song, their lilting voices almost painfully, achingly seductive.
NO! I will not fall into your puncturous embrace today. No, my destiny calls me, drives me, whips me into a frenzy of speed.
I focus, smooth, keep the pace, when a strange musty, dusty, yet strangely tasty smell permeates the air, mmmm I reach for bat-belt canister number 2 (strawberry kiwi hazel nut Goo), no not quite right ah yes #5 my last 3 ounces of Rudy's. I recognize it now, just some bone on bone action. I holster the Rudy's knowing I will need it for the final straightaway. There will be no wimpy Deena Kastor excuse today.
With my left quad starting to protest I wonder if I can truly break the record, sub 28:47 miles don't just grow on trees.
Coming into the last 400, Mariachi blaring from the lumber yard day laborer's boom box, I refuse to succumb to the pain.
With supreme will I force myself to power through the last 12 meters. There is no look right or left, no chest thumping Hitler youth/Star Trek universal sign of triumph.
I cross the line in 20:50.
I have lopped off 8 minutes and 3 seconds from the all time mile record!!!
I am dazed and confused, yet a thought pierces my fog, "the clock is still running. I could go for the 2 mile record as well. (Plus if I stop now I would have to hitchhike back to the office)"
I realize that I have been maintaining this pace for so long that my legs are on auto pilot. I am still moving. As I start up the hill I feel dizzy, my concentration wavers and I stoop to pick up a discarded 500mL Dasani bottle.
WHY CAN"T WE RESPECT THE EARTH!!!!!!The top of the hill is reached as I founder in a pond of pain, wow that horse really is hu...
I lean into the final turn, I see the finish, I lean for every last tenth, and I am done, the deed has been done (the full big block - 2 miles in 40:12.28), I have broken the mile record twice in the same race, the parking lot erupts in a thunderous caucophony of adoration, "Get out of the middle of the road you idiot!"
Oh, I know what you're saying. I'd have to be an idiot to put my face on the jumbo pack of fruit roll up cakes for less than 7 figures.
